A Year In Review...

As we come to the end of the year, it is time to look back and reflect. The year has gone so fast, and it is amazing that we only have 2 days left of 2009. Here is my 2009, I hope to see your 2009!

January...Beginning of a new year. Gavin and I spent New Year's Eve together, and were cuddled up when the clock struck midnight. It might sound boring, but it was such a great and relaxing way to welcome the new year.

February...Not much happened this month. I was working at Lexington, and Gavin was working at Quantronix.

March...Spring is starting to come, and Gavin and I are looking forward to fishing this year!

April...My back started to hurt off and on. I went to the insta-care a couple of times with no luck for relief. The doctor didn't seem to take me seriously and acted like I didn't know what I was talking about.

May...Spring is here, and the fishing can start! A couple small trips here and there, but nothing big. My back starts to hurt worse and worse.

June...Now my back hurts regularly. It is hard to walk, hard to sit, and hard to stand. I went to the doctor, and of course it was the same doctor from insta-care! What horrible luck! I told him I knew the pain, and something was seriously wrong. He finally got an attitude and ordered an MRI and CT scan of my back. Sure enough, there was a ruptured disc that was pinching off my nerves. After many trips to the hospital, I had surgery. The surgeon fused my spine, built a metal cage inside of it, and put in new bolts and rods.

Aunt Laurabell passed away in this time. I love you Aunt Laurabell!

July...Trying to recover from surgery. It was miserable. I spent the days mostley alone taking care of myself. We spent the 4th of July with both families, and then headed home for some much needed rest.

August...Still not healed, but doing a little better. Gavin and I decided it would be good to go back to Iowa to spend time with family. My grandmother had been diagnosed with cancer, and I hadn't seen her in a while. It was the perfect time to get away. I could rest and be around family, introduce Gavin to family, and just enjoy being back in Iowa.
Gavin loved it there! We stayed with my Aunt Cathy and Uncle Bob in their farm house. It was amazing! I showed Gavin where I grew up, my favorite places to go, historical places, and the good old Iowa State Fair! We got in a couple of fishing trips with my mom and my Uncle Ken. Gavin was amazed trying out live bait for fishing, it was fun to watch him!

We went to John Wayne's house, literally! He was born in Winterset, IA and the house is still there. It was fun to see.
Then I showed him the bridges from the movie Bridges of Madison County, since they are in the same area as The Duke's house. We spent time with family, and he got to meet the redneck side AND the Italian side! (Poor guy!) One of the days was dedicated to Uncle Bob. He took us to Knoxville, Iowa to show Gavin the Sprint Car Museum and track. The nationals were going on, and I was pretty bummed that we couldn't get tickets. But Gavin did get to see the cars that Tony Stewart own, and he is one of Gav's favorite nascar drivers.

He also showed Gavin the new Nascar track. Gavin was loving that day! The state fair was amazing, and Gav was shocked at how big it is. It was a great day! All in all, I am very glad we went to Iowa. The memories we have are priceless!

September...Welcome to the world baby Briggs! Gavin's brother, Justin, and his wife Kenzee welcomed their first child to the world. He is such an amazing little guy. I've only held him once, but I sure do love him! (Seriously, not everybody can look as good as Kenzee after giving birth...I'm not sure how she does it!)

October...Welcome to the world baby Berlynn! This time it was Gavin's brother, Richie, and his fiance, Brittany welcoming their first child to the world. She is such a cutie!
This is also the day my life changed forever. Gavin asked me to marry him. Of course I said YES! He set the date for May 1, 2010.

November...The holiday season has started. We spent Thanksgiving with both families. It is much better this way. We don't want to leave anybody out, and family is important to both of us.

December...Christmas is coming fast! I've finished all of the Christmas shopping, and spent the week of Christmas baking breads and making candies. It was exhausting! I'm glad it is done! One Christmas Eve, we went to visit my son's grave. It took a good half of an hour to dig him out from the snow and ice. It was heartbreaking, but it felt good to be close to him. We brought flowers and a little M&M Christmas guy. It was pretty cute! Then we went to Gavin's sister's grave and cleaned off the ice and snow. We left flowers for Jill, and some little M&M guys for her. (He said she really like M&M's!) That night we went to Gav's friend's house for a little party, then off to see the lights in Layton Park. Afterwards we opened our gifts and got ready for Christmas day! We spent Christmas day with both families again. It was fun, but a bit hectic. Now the month is almost over. Tomorrow is my birthday, and then we begin the new year.

If you are reading this, I hope you take the time to reflect on your year. It would be fun to read! It is amazing how much can happen in a year. Next year will be even more crazy! I love you all and I wish you all many blessings in your new year.

Christmas...CHECK!

I am done Christmas shopping! (I think!) I started early and I am pretty sure I have finished today. Now all that is left is baking and candy making! Some treats are tradition in our family, and last year I didn't make them. Not because I didn't want to...but because Gavin said we would do it together and we didn't! Shame on him, he isn't getting out of it this year! HEHE...I already bought the stuff to do it! I think it is fun seeing all of the presents under the tree. There are presents for Gavin, his family, my family, and friends. There were even a few gifts for a stranger in need that I chose to help! I love Christmas! But along with Christmas comes by birthday...yep, every December 30th. I haven't celebrated my birthday in years. (Not without me planning it!) Let's face it, that's no fun. Last year we never did do anything for my birthday, so Gavin asked me what I wanted to do this year. WHAT?! I don't want to plan my birthday again! I'm turning 30...that's a milestone birthday...we'll just see what happens lol.

It's up!

Just to update, the Christmas tree is up! It's fun to have it up, and even the Grinch himself said he liked it. We turned on some holiday tunes and went to town on it! I think Gavin was getting in to it when he yelled, "I get to put the angel on the top!" Um..ok (giggle) go right ahead! He even hung some of the special ornaments that I have. My special ornaments are actually for Skyler. There is a bell ("everytime a bell rings, an angel gets it's wings!"), and angel on a glass cloud, an ornament that my mom wrote Skyler's name on, and a little candy cane that was made by a friend for Skyler. Knowing that they were special, Gavin grabbed a couple and hung them carefully on the tree. It hurts knowing that something as silly as an ornament is how I celebrate Christmas with my son. As I hung the last ornament, my heart broke, and the tears started flowing. Gavin was right there to hold me tight. He didn't say a word, just help me. He knew, and he understood. It was an emotional night, but it was a good night. Hopefully it will a tradition that will stick with us through the years.

'Tis the season!

It's Christmas time. The stress is raising, the snow is falling, and the Spirit is missing. The first two are pretty normal for the season, but I had to fix the last part! Gavin kept telling me that we would get my Christmas tree out of storage this past weekend. Saturday he worked with Dave for a bit. Then Saturday evening we went to visit his brother and sister-in-law. She has back problems like I do and she was in a lot of pain. I knew I could help her and to me that was more important than getting my Christmas tree. Besides, we had Sunday...right? WRONG! I was excited to get the much needed decorations until Gavin said he didn't want to go anywhere. Well hell! Now what?! Wait ANOTHER week?! Sure..fine..whatever...UNLESS you are me! Yep you guessed it...yesterday I went to my storage unit myself and got the decorations. Murphy's Law states that whatever you need is going to be buried in the very back. And it was. But that wasn't going to stop me! EASY PEASY...I unstacked the boxes, rearranged totes, and left an hour later with a car full of Christmas! I got home, unloaded the car, and started pulling out the decorations! The garland is strung, the stockings are hung, and the Christmas tree is up....but not decorated! After all that work, Gavin wasn't in the mood to decorate the tree. He said we would do it Tuesday night after he got home from work, and after we got back from helping my sister with her computer. UGH...fine...my back hurts way too bad to argue. I really want to decorate it together, as I think it is important to carry on past traditions and to welcome new ones. We used to decorate the tree as a family, and that is something I want to continue with. However, now it is time for a pain pill and a nice hot cup of candy cane tea to help apologize to my back for lifting and moving all of the boxes in the storage unit. My back currently hates me and is letting me know it by aching with every move I make!

The hole in my heart...

Lately I have been missing my son Skyler so much. Perhaps it is all of the healthy babies that have entered our lives lately. It just makes me wonder...why me? I saw this poem and thought it was so neat, it actually brought a tear to my eye! When you have a baby die, it is a feeling that you will never forget. It is also a feeling you will never get over. There is an emptiness that remains. Nothing can fill in this hole in your heart or in your soul. The smallest thing can make you cry. A baby's laugh, a baby's cry, a song, a memory...it happens all of the time. I know this will never make anybody understand how I feel, but that is a good thing. I never want anybody to experience this pain. I thank the Gods everyday for Gavin. He is as close to understanding as I think somebody can come. He gets frustrated with me, and for that I can't help. Perhaps he feels I should get over it, but I can't. He has been to the cemetary with me, and he has wiped some tears. I'm sure there will be more soon, as the holidays are near. For now I will end this, as it is making my eyes water. I will leave you with this poem, it seems to say so much! I love you Skyler Layne Jensen, you are my baby angel!

What makes a Mother
(author unknown)

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.'


But God, can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can, He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.


I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say:
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.


My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."


So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are ok
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.


So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize
You are a Mother until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
And you know you're the best one!

Dresses...DONE!

Bless those "Black Friday" sales! Amazingly enough, I was able to take advantage of the sales to get dresses for my maid of honor, bridesmaid, junior bridesmaid, and flowergirls! All of the dresses cost $185...AMAZING! Let me introduce my line...

First we have Katie, the Maid Of Honor. I have known Katie for at least a good ten years! She has been with me through a LOT, and I love her dearly.


Then we have Dani, the Bridesmaid. I have known Dani for quite a few years as well. She is a great friend, and I love her and her family tons and tons!


I have a Junior Bridesmaid in my line, and her name is Morgan. Morgan is Gavin's niece, and soon to be my niece as well! Her mother is Jana, Gavin's older sister. I love Gavin's family and can't wait to be an official member!


Kaylee is one of my flower girls. She is my sister Sharon's daughter. She is a princess (just ask her!) and tons of fun!


My other flower girl is Cecilia (Cili). She is my sister Lori's grandaughter. She is such a sweet little spirit and says the cutest things!


These are the girls that will be assisting me in my big day. Thank you Katie, Dani, Morgan, Kaylee, and Cili for helping me out! I love you all!

The other engagements...

It sure is a good thing we had more engagements done, since our originals are still lost. (Such a mess!) I am happy with most of the new ones, and I haven't yet heard that I look mean. (I am mean, I just never knew it showed!) Here are some of the pictures that people have liked ...










There is even more exciting wedding news in the Taylor family! Gavin's sister, Dayna, is getting married. It sounds like March will be their magical month. Gavin's nephew, Matthew, is getting married in May. He popped the question to Bree on Sunday! Last but not least, Gavin's brother Richie may be hearing wedding bells in 2010 as well. It will certainly be a busy year for the Taylor family! It will be a year of excitement and growth for sure!