Back In Action!

Shortly after starting our blog life got away from us.  The blog took a backseat to life and the updates stopped.  SO much as changed since then that it is worth starting up again.  I'll update you on all of us...

First of all, we bought a house!  Yes, our very own house.  It isn't far from where we lived but it sure is nice having the space.  Second, we have added to our family!  We are now a family of four, but I'll get to that soon!

Gavin:
Gavin has graduated college.  He got a new job being a computer geek and seems to like it pretty well.  We never see him since he works nights and I work days.  Madison loves spending the day with her daddy before he goes to work.

Madison:
She is growing like a weed!  She is such an amazing and kind hearted little girl.  I have honestly never met a young girl as loving and caring as she is.  She loves seeing her cousins and gets so excited to spend time with family.  She is the best big sister ever!  Every morning she has to give her baby brother a kiss.  She enjoys signing to him to calm him down and helping me with anything she can get her little hands on!

Me:
 Well I'm doing ok I suppose.  As I said, I had another baby.  It was a pretty rough pregnancy to say the least.  At 26 (on Cinco De Mayo!) I started to hemorrhage.  I spent four days in the hospital and found out I had a partial placental abruption.  My placenta was literally separating from my body causing the baby to lose out on nutrients he very much needed. I also found out that this is a condition that could be fatal for me and the baby.  After the bleeding was under control, I was sent home on bed rest with the exception to go to work.  For a month I was still having some bleeding and contractions.  On June 6th something felt "off".  I wasn't sure what it was, but something seemed different.  I had a lot more bleeding and felt more tired than usual. After work I picked up Madison from the sitter and went home.  I thought perhaps some rest would make me feel better but I was wrong.  I got some things together and dropped Madison off with my sister and headed up to the hospital to get checked.  I was having contractions, but as I said earlier I had been having them for a month.  After being hooked up to monitors, we discovered that the baby's heart rate was showing signs of stress.  At that time I was informed I would be having an emergency C-section and my doctor was already in route to the hospital.  Gavin's mom went up to the hospital and she tried calling Gavin as the doctor came in and explained the situation.  Since he worked an hour away, he didn't make it in time.  Everything from this point on was a blur!  Nurses were rushing about giving me different fluids in my IV, pulling my hair back, and prepping me for surgery.  Before I knew it I was being rushed down the hall.  Suddenly I was in the bright white of the operating room and my mother in law came with.  I was transferred to a table and sat up on the edge for the anesthesiologist to work his magic.  Unfortunately, it was very magical.  He had a hard time finding the right place in my spine.  Since it was an emergency and he was rushed, I received multiple pokes in my spine.  He hit so many nerves that he was asking me where I was feeling the pain to know where he was at.  I could hear him saying things about too much spinal cord fluid coming out and too much blood, how they needed a different size needle and tubing, and how they weren't sure why they weren't getting to the right area.  As I was hunched over and they found the spot in my spine, my water broke.  Here I am, 30 weeks pregnant and having an emergency C-section, and my water breaks.  My contractions dilated me to a 5 and he was certainly coming out.  At that point everything got rushed and became even more of an emergency.  After a few minutes I heard the doctor say he had the baby, but there was no crying.  Pure silence.  They rushed the baby out of the room and into the Newborn Intensive Care Unit before he had a chance to take his first breath.  It was just silent except for the faint sound of the music the doctor was listening to.  I had no idea if my baby was ok, if he was breathing, or if he made it!  After a while a nurse came in to say he made it and was screaming in the NICU.  I was relieved.  They stitched me up and got me back to my room.  I kept feeling like I was going to pass out, but I knew it was because I was in shock. As I got there I found my sisters, my daughter, my sister in laws, and Gavin all waiting for me.  Gavin got to go see our new baby boy and took the others down with him.  Jaxon Wade Taylor was born at 9:14 p.m. measuring 2 lb 6 oz and 14 inches long.  He was 10 weeks premature and would not be leaving the NICU anytime soon.  I then found out from a nurse that my extra bleeding was the placenta separating more and my body starting to hemorrhage.  This started the 7 week journey to where we are today.

'Tis the season!

Have I mentioned that I love the holidays?! I love the gatherings of families, the magic of Santa, and the warmth of the season. I must say it's even better now that Madi is here! Even Gavin is getting into the holiday season a bit more. The tree is up, the presents are waiting under the tree, and there are lights on the porch! The best part is the little bundle of joy that has graced our family this year. Madison is SUCH a good baby. She is full of love and laughs and smiles at everybody! It is so hard to believe she is almost 4 months old. It seems like yesterday we were bringing her home! Here's our little angel ...



Gavin is doing well in school. He is getting great grades and enjoying his current classes. He is a member of the student council now, and I couldn't be more proud. As for me, I am working a temp job during the day and being mommy at night. I have such anxiety when I leave Madi to go to work, but seeing her smile at the end of the day makes it all better. I hope the holidays find you all in good graces. Keep the reason for the season in your minds, and the magic in your hearts. We love you all!

...and baby makes THREE!

She is here! Gavin and I are proud to announce the birth of Madison Faye Taylor into the world! She was born at 2:57 p.m. on September 1, 2010. She was 7 lbs 8 oz and 20" long. She is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Here is her story...

We went to the hospital at 7:00 a.m. At 8:00 they started the pitocin, and at 8:15 the doctor broke my water. I chose to have an epidural, so we did that when I reached 4/5 on the dilation scale. Unfortunately, the epidural stopped working on one side of my body. From that point on my right side got to feel every contraction as well as the birth. Around 2:30 they checked me and I was at a 10 and ready to push. As they were getting the doctor and setting up the room, Gavin started feeling the reality of seeing his baby girl and almost passed out! (Really, it was touching and funny at the same time.) We were blessed to have my mother, Gavin's mother, and both of my sisters in the room with us to help us out. We couldn't have done it without them! Once the doctor got there, everything went so quickly. They told me when to push, and after just 2 big pushes Madison was out! The doctor was very impressed with how quickly she came. However, my body was not and the stitches tell THAT tale! LOL That night we spent time with our baby girl and welcomed family and friends to visit. We were released early the next morning to go home. Gavin took one week off of work, and is currently back to his routine of work and school. We really never get to see him Monday through Thursday. It has taken an emotional toll on me, but I support him and I am so proud of him for sticking it out! We will update more later.

We have a date!!!

Today I went to my 37 week appointment. (Let's take a moment to stop and take a deep breath that I made it to 37 weeks!) Now Madison is officially considered full term! Anyway, after being checked I found out I am already dialated to a 2. Madison could make her way into the world any day now! BUT...if she doesn't...the doctor has scheduled to induce me at Davis Hospital on September 1, 2010! One week and she will be here! I am very excited. We all knew I would be induced early due to being high risk, and I would rather be safe than sorry. If she chooses to stay in until the first, she will share her birthday with her cousin Briggs. What a special bond! The funny part about that is Briggs was a week late, and Madison is coming early. (They must have planned that one secretly!) So really, neither of them should have been born on that day, and now they could end up sharing it! We will just have to see. She could just make her way out earlier!

30 weeks!

Time is flying, or not so much. I'm now 30 weeks along, and the summer is getting hotter and hotter. Luckily, all is well with Madison. She is growing SO fast now! I recently went in for my glucose testing, but I haven't heard anything back yet. I'm hoping that no news is good news! I will go back next week and we will set up a time for some NST tests. Hopefully, that will give us a better idea of when to expect Madison. All we know is that she will be here BEFORE her due date of 9/13/10.

Gavin is back in school for his third term. 2 weeks down, 8 to go. He is doing great, and I couldn't be more proud!

That's about the only update we have right now. I hope all is well with everybody.

24 Week Growth Scan...

I haven't updated for a while, so I figured it's about time!

I went in for a growth scan yesterday to make sure Madison is growing as she should. Surprisingly, she is already 1 lb 10 oz.! Slightly bigger than normal. That is awesome news and the doctor said he couldn't be happier due to past problems. The tech even took some 4D images since Gavin couldn't be there! I go back in 1 month for another growth scan. (Actually I will do it every month until she is born now.) At 32 weeks, Madison and I will do some stress tests. They are thinking it would be best to induce me, so she could actually come anytime around the end of August to the middle of September! The doctor will decide more on that later. He said the most important thing I need to do is stay stress free. (Fat chance on that happening!) Other than that, all is well and I will post more of an update later!

Sorry

Well I have edited my last post, as I seem to have unknowingly upset somebody. It wasn't on purpose, nor was it my intentions. Those were my feelings, and you have to understand that it was stressing me out very much. I had a procrastinator in my wedding line, and I was given an ultimatum regarding this person. So yes, I feel I had the right to be upset over the situation. Anyway, I removed my feelings from my blog and I am sorry.

What is going on?!

Life has been nothing less than crazy lately. The wedding has been a disaster to say the least. I have been trying to make everything work on such a tight budget and it's been HARD! We had everything planned, tables rented, dress getting altered, etc and then we got the bad news that the weather was going to be horrible. Yep bad weather goes GREAT with an outdoor wedding! This was my fear all along, and the reason I didn't want an outdoor wedding in the first place. I gave in, and now we are in a major disaster. It's nobody's fault, just frusterating. We can't get our money back from diamond rental in time to put it down on the church we want. Unsure of what to do now. The wedding is less than a week away. I'm losing my mind very quickly, and all of the stress is causing nothing but arguements between me and Gavin. On the flip side, we found out we are having a girl! It finally hit Gavin that he will be a daddy soon when he saw the ultrasound and the tech announced it was a girl. He is all smiles, and very excited.

10 weeks

At this point I am 10 weeks and 4 days along. Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment. It was the first time Gavin got to hear the heartbeat. It was exciting watching the baby! The doctor was having a hard time getting a picture because the baby was constantly moving around. It was so cute! On the not so fun side, I am lacking some nutrients. I still have to take my prenatal pills (of course) but I also have to add Vitamin D3, B6, and Iron. I'm deficient in all three. The doctor said it is just a bad side effect from having the weight loss surgery. But at least the baby is doing good, that's what matters!

On a not so fun note, I'm sick of drama! I just have to say it! How can you be a bad person when you don't even know what you did?! Shouldn't you have the right to know? Oh well, I don't have the time or the energy to focus on something that I'm not sure I did. It's not that I don't care, but if people can't be upfront and honest, then I can't be bothered to take it seriously. At least I apologized not even knowing what I apologized for. (Yep, I can be the bigger person on occasion! I'm not always evil!) Just remember...when I wake up in the morning and my feet hit the ground, the devil cries "oh no...she's up!" Yep, that's me!

Hectic times!

Lately has been a bit of a whirlwind. Not all good, not all bad. We have had to deal with friends almost moving away, Gavin starting school, I started working, the pregnancy, and life in general. Luckily, our friends didn't move. I would miss them terribly. Gavin is at school, and seems to be enjoying it for the most part. I am not liking my job so well. They are so strict (about EVERYTHING), and really don't seem to care about the workers. I get sick a lot at work, and the stress can't be good for me. But it's a job, and that is important to Gav.

The pregnancy is going well. I am now 10 weeks and have another appointment tomorrow. This time Gav is going to go and hopefully they will do another ultrasound so he can hear the heartbeat for the first time. I am excited for him to have that chance. I still get my fair share of morning sickness (all day!) but I am keeping food down a bit better. Well, I guess I should say I am keeping food down if it is the right food! I have never loved cheese pizza and cheese bread so much before in my life!

That's just a bit of an update. I'm sure I'll have more to say later! Love you all!

A Baby's Conversation With God

I recently read this and thought it was so neat that I had to share it!

A Baby's Conversation with God


A baby asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow,
but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God said, "Your angel will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

The child further inquired, "But tell me, here in heaven I don't have
to do anything but sing and smile to be happy.."

God said, "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you.
And you will feel your angel's love and be very happy."

Again the small child asked, "And how am I going to be able to understand
when people talk to me if I don't know the language?"

God said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words
you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will
teach you how to speak."

"And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

God said, "Your angel will place your hands together and will teach
you how to pray."

"Who will protect me?"

God said, "Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life."

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore."

God said, "Your angel will always talk to you about Me and will teach
you the way to come back to Me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from Earth
could be heard and the child hurriedly asked, "God, if I am to leave
now, please tell me my angel's name."

God said, You will simply call her, " Mom ."

First Ultrasound

Today was my first ultrasound. It was exciting, but I wish Gavin could have been there! I am 6 weeks 2 days along, and usually they don't schedule them this early. But because of my situation with Skyler, they did one today. The baby is measuring 7 weeks, so a bit bigger than expected. The doctor also said the baby's heart sounds great, beating at 126 bpm! It was very exciting to lunch to Gavin and show him his child's first picture! Here is our baby's first photo op!



As for me, I am exhausted! I wake up every morning between 3 and 5, and have a hard time getting back to sleep. That doesn't count the times I have to wake up to go to the bathroom or get sick! I have morning sickness off and on through out the day, and I've been advised by the doctor to never let my stomach get empty. She told me to constantly eat due to having my gastric bypass. She said that when I eat, my body doesn't absorb all of the nutrients. Therefore, I have to eat MORE than usual to keep my nutrient levels up. They did blood work today to see if I need any types of supplements due to my morning sickness. In my case, my prenatal vitamin may not be enough. But so far so good, everything looks great! Let's keep our fingers crossed that all goes well from here on out!

New year...new surprises...

Well last year was a pretty exciting year. I got engaged, we welcomed beautiful new babies to the Taylor family, and I got to see family that I haven't seen in YEARS. This year is starting off with a bang too! Matt and Bree will be married soon, Gavin and I will be married soon, and we will be bringing our own little bundle of joy in to the world.

Yep, you guessed it. I'm pregnant! I am 5 weeks 2 days. Still pretty early, but we're pretty excited. So far I'm very tired (I have a hard time sleeping), bloated, and get morning sickness off and on through out the day. Gavin is hoping for a boy, but I'm not picky! So let's hope for a safe, healthy, and happy journey for the new Baby Taylor!

Happy Birthday?! WHATEVER!

So this year was supposed to be a big birthday. It was my 30th...as if that isn't depressing enough, the day pretty much sucked! For starters, Gavin had to work. Then it snowed like crazy! My mom agreed to go to a movie, and it was horrible trying to get there! I finally made it, after almost getting hit by a semi! After the movie, I had a little shopping to do to prepare for New Year's at my sister's house. Katie stopped by to see me with her son. I love my Katie! That was awesome, we ordered pizza and hung out. Gavin came home and surprised me with some flowers and a DVD. That was very sweet of him, and the best part of the day! Then dinner time came. You see, Gavin invited the world to my birthday dinner on his Facebook page. Out of all of the people that were invited by facebook, text, or phone calls, that said they were coming, or even inquired stating they wanted to celebrate with us, only 4 other people showed up for my birthday dinner. Kevin and Dani came, and my parents came. I seriously wanted to walk out the door and go home and crawl in bed. Or a hole. Anywhere but be there. Talk about feeling unimportant! I was so upset that I couldn't eat much. I took over half of my dinner home with me. Gavin thought I didn't like it, but I did. I was just too upset to eat it. But oh well, it's over now. I very much appreciate Gavin making the effort for my birthday, and I LOVE the flowers he got me. From now on, I give up on my birthday!

A Year In Review...

As we come to the end of the year, it is time to look back and reflect. The year has gone so fast, and it is amazing that we only have 2 days left of 2009. Here is my 2009, I hope to see your 2009!

January...Beginning of a new year. Gavin and I spent New Year's Eve together, and were cuddled up when the clock struck midnight. It might sound boring, but it was such a great and relaxing way to welcome the new year.

February...Not much happened this month. I was working at Lexington, and Gavin was working at Quantronix.

March...Spring is starting to come, and Gavin and I are looking forward to fishing this year!

April...My back started to hurt off and on. I went to the insta-care a couple of times with no luck for relief. The doctor didn't seem to take me seriously and acted like I didn't know what I was talking about.

May...Spring is here, and the fishing can start! A couple small trips here and there, but nothing big. My back starts to hurt worse and worse.

June...Now my back hurts regularly. It is hard to walk, hard to sit, and hard to stand. I went to the doctor, and of course it was the same doctor from insta-care! What horrible luck! I told him I knew the pain, and something was seriously wrong. He finally got an attitude and ordered an MRI and CT scan of my back. Sure enough, there was a ruptured disc that was pinching off my nerves. After many trips to the hospital, I had surgery. The surgeon fused my spine, built a metal cage inside of it, and put in new bolts and rods.

Aunt Laurabell passed away in this time. I love you Aunt Laurabell!

July...Trying to recover from surgery. It was miserable. I spent the days mostley alone taking care of myself. We spent the 4th of July with both families, and then headed home for some much needed rest.

August...Still not healed, but doing a little better. Gavin and I decided it would be good to go back to Iowa to spend time with family. My grandmother had been diagnosed with cancer, and I hadn't seen her in a while. It was the perfect time to get away. I could rest and be around family, introduce Gavin to family, and just enjoy being back in Iowa.
Gavin loved it there! We stayed with my Aunt Cathy and Uncle Bob in their farm house. It was amazing! I showed Gavin where I grew up, my favorite places to go, historical places, and the good old Iowa State Fair! We got in a couple of fishing trips with my mom and my Uncle Ken. Gavin was amazed trying out live bait for fishing, it was fun to watch him!

We went to John Wayne's house, literally! He was born in Winterset, IA and the house is still there. It was fun to see.
Then I showed him the bridges from the movie Bridges of Madison County, since they are in the same area as The Duke's house. We spent time with family, and he got to meet the redneck side AND the Italian side! (Poor guy!) One of the days was dedicated to Uncle Bob. He took us to Knoxville, Iowa to show Gavin the Sprint Car Museum and track. The nationals were going on, and I was pretty bummed that we couldn't get tickets. But Gavin did get to see the cars that Tony Stewart own, and he is one of Gav's favorite nascar drivers.

He also showed Gavin the new Nascar track. Gavin was loving that day! The state fair was amazing, and Gav was shocked at how big it is. It was a great day! All in all, I am very glad we went to Iowa. The memories we have are priceless!

September...Welcome to the world baby Briggs! Gavin's brother, Justin, and his wife Kenzee welcomed their first child to the world. He is such an amazing little guy. I've only held him once, but I sure do love him! (Seriously, not everybody can look as good as Kenzee after giving birth...I'm not sure how she does it!)

October...Welcome to the world baby Berlynn! This time it was Gavin's brother, Richie, and his fiance, Brittany welcoming their first child to the world. She is such a cutie!
This is also the day my life changed forever. Gavin asked me to marry him. Of course I said YES! He set the date for May 1, 2010.

November...The holiday season has started. We spent Thanksgiving with both families. It is much better this way. We don't want to leave anybody out, and family is important to both of us.

December...Christmas is coming fast! I've finished all of the Christmas shopping, and spent the week of Christmas baking breads and making candies. It was exhausting! I'm glad it is done! One Christmas Eve, we went to visit my son's grave. It took a good half of an hour to dig him out from the snow and ice. It was heartbreaking, but it felt good to be close to him. We brought flowers and a little M&M Christmas guy. It was pretty cute! Then we went to Gavin's sister's grave and cleaned off the ice and snow. We left flowers for Jill, and some little M&M guys for her. (He said she really like M&M's!) That night we went to Gav's friend's house for a little party, then off to see the lights in Layton Park. Afterwards we opened our gifts and got ready for Christmas day! We spent Christmas day with both families again. It was fun, but a bit hectic. Now the month is almost over. Tomorrow is my birthday, and then we begin the new year.

If you are reading this, I hope you take the time to reflect on your year. It would be fun to read! It is amazing how much can happen in a year. Next year will be even more crazy! I love you all and I wish you all many blessings in your new year.

Christmas...CHECK!

I am done Christmas shopping! (I think!) I started early and I am pretty sure I have finished today. Now all that is left is baking and candy making! Some treats are tradition in our family, and last year I didn't make them. Not because I didn't want to...but because Gavin said we would do it together and we didn't! Shame on him, he isn't getting out of it this year! HEHE...I already bought the stuff to do it! I think it is fun seeing all of the presents under the tree. There are presents for Gavin, his family, my family, and friends. There were even a few gifts for a stranger in need that I chose to help! I love Christmas! But along with Christmas comes by birthday...yep, every December 30th. I haven't celebrated my birthday in years. (Not without me planning it!) Let's face it, that's no fun. Last year we never did do anything for my birthday, so Gavin asked me what I wanted to do this year. WHAT?! I don't want to plan my birthday again! I'm turning 30...that's a milestone birthday...we'll just see what happens lol.

It's up!

Just to update, the Christmas tree is up! It's fun to have it up, and even the Grinch himself said he liked it. We turned on some holiday tunes and went to town on it! I think Gavin was getting in to it when he yelled, "I get to put the angel on the top!" Um..ok (giggle) go right ahead! He even hung some of the special ornaments that I have. My special ornaments are actually for Skyler. There is a bell ("everytime a bell rings, an angel gets it's wings!"), and angel on a glass cloud, an ornament that my mom wrote Skyler's name on, and a little candy cane that was made by a friend for Skyler. Knowing that they were special, Gavin grabbed a couple and hung them carefully on the tree. It hurts knowing that something as silly as an ornament is how I celebrate Christmas with my son. As I hung the last ornament, my heart broke, and the tears started flowing. Gavin was right there to hold me tight. He didn't say a word, just help me. He knew, and he understood. It was an emotional night, but it was a good night. Hopefully it will a tradition that will stick with us through the years.

'Tis the season!

It's Christmas time. The stress is raising, the snow is falling, and the Spirit is missing. The first two are pretty normal for the season, but I had to fix the last part! Gavin kept telling me that we would get my Christmas tree out of storage this past weekend. Saturday he worked with Dave for a bit. Then Saturday evening we went to visit his brother and sister-in-law. She has back problems like I do and she was in a lot of pain. I knew I could help her and to me that was more important than getting my Christmas tree. Besides, we had Sunday...right? WRONG! I was excited to get the much needed decorations until Gavin said he didn't want to go anywhere. Well hell! Now what?! Wait ANOTHER week?! Sure..fine..whatever...UNLESS you are me! Yep you guessed it...yesterday I went to my storage unit myself and got the decorations. Murphy's Law states that whatever you need is going to be buried in the very back. And it was. But that wasn't going to stop me! EASY PEASY...I unstacked the boxes, rearranged totes, and left an hour later with a car full of Christmas! I got home, unloaded the car, and started pulling out the decorations! The garland is strung, the stockings are hung, and the Christmas tree is up....but not decorated! After all that work, Gavin wasn't in the mood to decorate the tree. He said we would do it Tuesday night after he got home from work, and after we got back from helping my sister with her computer. UGH...fine...my back hurts way too bad to argue. I really want to decorate it together, as I think it is important to carry on past traditions and to welcome new ones. We used to decorate the tree as a family, and that is something I want to continue with. However, now it is time for a pain pill and a nice hot cup of candy cane tea to help apologize to my back for lifting and moving all of the boxes in the storage unit. My back currently hates me and is letting me know it by aching with every move I make!

The hole in my heart...

Lately I have been missing my son Skyler so much. Perhaps it is all of the healthy babies that have entered our lives lately. It just makes me wonder...why me? I saw this poem and thought it was so neat, it actually brought a tear to my eye! When you have a baby die, it is a feeling that you will never forget. It is also a feeling you will never get over. There is an emptiness that remains. Nothing can fill in this hole in your heart or in your soul. The smallest thing can make you cry. A baby's laugh, a baby's cry, a song, a memory...it happens all of the time. I know this will never make anybody understand how I feel, but that is a good thing. I never want anybody to experience this pain. I thank the Gods everyday for Gavin. He is as close to understanding as I think somebody can come. He gets frustrated with me, and for that I can't help. Perhaps he feels I should get over it, but I can't. He has been to the cemetary with me, and he has wiped some tears. I'm sure there will be more soon, as the holidays are near. For now I will end this, as it is making my eyes water. I will leave you with this poem, it seems to say so much! I love you Skyler Layne Jensen, you are my baby angel!

What makes a Mother
(author unknown)

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.
A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.'


But God, can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?
Yes, you can, He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.
Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to feel your womb
But there's no need to stay.


I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.
I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say:
"We go to earth to learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.


My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.
I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.
I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow's where I lay.
I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear.
"Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."


So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are ok
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.
They'll wait for you with Me
Until your lesson is through.
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.


So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start.
Though some on earth may not realize
You are a Mother until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
And you know you're the best one!

Dresses...DONE!

Bless those "Black Friday" sales! Amazingly enough, I was able to take advantage of the sales to get dresses for my maid of honor, bridesmaid, junior bridesmaid, and flowergirls! All of the dresses cost $185...AMAZING! Let me introduce my line...

First we have Katie, the Maid Of Honor. I have known Katie for at least a good ten years! She has been with me through a LOT, and I love her dearly.


Then we have Dani, the Bridesmaid. I have known Dani for quite a few years as well. She is a great friend, and I love her and her family tons and tons!


I have a Junior Bridesmaid in my line, and her name is Morgan. Morgan is Gavin's niece, and soon to be my niece as well! Her mother is Jana, Gavin's older sister. I love Gavin's family and can't wait to be an official member!


Kaylee is one of my flower girls. She is my sister Sharon's daughter. She is a princess (just ask her!) and tons of fun!


My other flower girl is Cecilia (Cili). She is my sister Lori's grandaughter. She is such a sweet little spirit and says the cutest things!


These are the girls that will be assisting me in my big day. Thank you Katie, Dani, Morgan, Kaylee, and Cili for helping me out! I love you all!